1. it's camp everyday
2. that means no make up
3. and sweatpants and hoodies
4. do i need to say more?

maybe later.

"... to have my computer made by a woman who doesn't get paid enough, and who isn't protected by health and safety regulations. And who is thousands of miles away, and I will never meet. It's nearly irresistible to me as a consumer to buy the cheapest products."

this quote is from derick jensen's "culture of make believe". go read it and expand your mind. this morning my roommate vanessa is leaving me for senegal. i think she said her flight was at 8am this morning, but she's not up so i guess she must have meant the pm? i hope so!!!!

i've been tripping out over exporting final cut projects lately. i keep on thinking it's so complicated. i do all these fancy settings and screw it all up. i think i got it though this time. i hope so as i am giving the finished project to jordan high school! i want them to have a good copy.

i just discovered NPR's world cafe. check out this interview with devendra b.!

hey carmen,

where did all of this thinking come from? it's like you are playing our conversations on this subject over and over again in your mind. i guess i must have been really bitchy and self-righteous about it at the time. i don't want to make excuses for my actions. i just want to say that i acknowledge the racism that lives inside of me. it is a part of my culture, and no matter how much i can break it down, it still manifests itself in so many ways. i'm sorry that i didn't acknowledge your identity in a way that you felt respected. i'm glad that you can be honest with me so far away from the point of contact.

i've been in this fog of depression ever since jesse left. it's really hard being on your own. trying to see what your boundaries are when there are no boundaries. what do i need to be happy and to keep my body healthy? no one else is helping me out, i'm all by myself so i got to make it happen.

right now i'm listening to a 37 year old man coming down off ecstasy rant about his family and life to his sister on the phone. so much drama. my life is okay. at least my parents aren't on crack. at least my little sister isn't selling drugs. i get sad and then i recognize how lucky i really am in the larger sway of things.

i am surrounded with wires which function to make things communicate with each other to produce media which will ignight positive reactions. this media is seen as empirical truth. really it is just an interpretation of reality.

carmen this week i hung out with people who are richer than my parents. jesse's uncle is the head of one of the largest clothing companies in america. he's the nicest guy. problem is that they outsource labor to the lowest bidder. they're fueling global capitalism in the name of market competition.

i've been reading about slavery and how while a white american might not have owned slaves they still benifit from slavery. i feel like we're all in the same boat right now, poor or rich or whatever. we buy cheap cheap stuff at target or wallmart or ross or in china town, and we feel like we're getting a deal. really it's all made in sweatshops where being in the union could mean getting your eyes gaged out. meanwhile, this charming man who is taking us for rides in his convertible and taking us out for seafood, is supporting this system of hate and destruction. let's not even start with environmental stuff. how can such a nice person do such bad things. he probably lays the blame on the countries, or the factory owners. he probably would make his garmets somewhere else if it was "competitive" enough. but it's not. and he's not doing it. and i don't know if he cares because i am too afraid to ask him. Who do we blame when we're all complacent?

Okay I should get to work. I'm going to watch footage from the immigration protests.

peace,

elle.

I have been working away seriously the last few weeks getting a few shorts together to show to the classrooms that ArtsBridge is working with. So far I've finished movies for Santa Monica High School, Jordan High School, and I helped out to put together a DVD for Worthington Middle School. I had to stay up working at the office until 1am a few nights but it was so worth it. Especially for Worthington because I got to hang out with Andrea, who happens to be this awesome Chicana feminist performance artist. We ate pad thai in between rendering and compressing and we're gonna do a book swap before she runs off to Senegal. She told me about this book written by a professor at UCLA that is a fictional account of the factual reality of Femecide in Juarez. I'm going to trade her Eduardo Galleano's "The Open Veins of Latin America." Great book for anyone who is looking to learn more about colonization in the Americas.

Anyways I thought I would post my movie here, as I have uploaded it to my school server. Let's see if I can figure out this quicktime code for y'all. If all goes well you should just be able to double click to play it. Looks like it works!! For some reason the edges are cut off but I think I just need to play around with exporting settings. If anyone wants to send advice I'm open! So this clip is from Santa Monica High School from a dance class that my wonderful roommate Vanessa taught. Vanessa put together a curiculum that integrated world dance, with a special focus on hip hop. Here you can see the student's rutines and also footage of them freestyling!